In character creation or after it?
After character creation, if you wish to add them, they can be cheated in though I am not sure if you can select your wife's focus normally. I think she defaults into Domestic focus. Save to disk beforehand in case you mess it up, make sure there are at least three empty available NPC slots in your house, stand in Redhaven outside your house, press Control + Shift + J to open console, and copy-paste into the console the following and press Enter individually:
SugarCube.State.active.variables.mcfam = 100
SugarCube.State.active.variables.addfam = true
You can buy them at stores, without doing anything special. You just buy the ones clearly marked NPC Armor and For NPCs Only. Second row armors in this shop, second armor displayed in the final shop.
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